Why Is This So Damn Hard?
Today my toddler cried for 30 minutes straight.
And I don’t mean a cute little whimper. I mean full-body, relentless, no-reason-I-could-pin-down kind of crying. The kind where you try everything—hugs, distraction, snacks, going outside, tapping, staying calm—and nothing works.
I sat with him. I breathed. I tried grounding, narrating, holding space, all the things.
And still... he wailed. And my body started screaming too.
I did what all the “gentle parenting” voices say to do.
But inside, all I could think was “Please. Just shut the fuck up.”
That’s the truth. And I need to say it, because this is the part no one talks about.
The moment when your nervous system starts to tap out.
The moment when holding it all together feels like a cruel joke.
The moment when staying calm just makes you come back more mad, because now you’re stuffing your own feelings while trying to absorb theirs.
And I found myself wondering...
Why is this so hard for us?
Did our mothers feel this way? Did they secretly crack inside too?
Because mine never said a word. She doesn’t talk about how hard it was to do it all.
To raise emotional humans while trying to stay sane.
So what changed?
Maybe it’s the constant stimulation.
Maybe it’s the phones, the noise, the pressure to perform at motherhood.
Maybe it’s the emotional labor of trying to heal while parenting.
Maybe it’s the impossible expectation to do it all perfectly—with zero village, zero rest, and zero space to fall apart.
All I know is: I tried my best.
And it still wasn’t enough to make the crying stop.
But maybe the point isn’t to stop the crying.
Maybe the point is that we’re allowed to break, too.
That our nervous systems matter. That even the moms who teach emotional regulation (hi, me 🙋♀️) have moments when the best tool we have is admitting:
This. Is. Too. Much.
And maybe what makes it feel so unbearable sometimes
—is that no one sees this part.
No one sees how much you’re holding in the silence between cries.
No one sees how hard you’re trying to not scream.
No one sees how your whole body aches from being the safe place
in a house full of chaos.
It’s not just that parenting is hard.
It’s that we’re doing it while healing.
While building.
While working.
While trying to give our kids something we never had.
And that’s holy work.
But it’s also heavy as hell.
So if you feel like you’re crawling through it some days—
You are.
And you’re still doing it.
Your 60-Second Reset – The Tapping Mama Quick Calm
You don’t need a full tapping script.
You don’t need to say anything perfect.
You just need a moment to come back to yourself.
Tap gently through these points while breathing slow and deep:
🧠 Top of the head – “I'm here.”
🤲 Collarbones – “I'm safe enough to breathe.”
💗 Under the breast / ribs – “I don’t have to hold it all.”
Repeat a few rounds. Or just stay with one point.
Let your body guide you.
You don’t have to feel calm to begin.
You just begin—and let the calm come later.
And if you need this today, hear this:
I know today it feels like the world has failed you.
And honestly... it has.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
You weren’t meant to mother in isolation.
To hold it all without rest.
To break and then still be the one who cleans it all up.
But if you’re here, fists clenched and heart aching—I want you to know this:
You’re allowed to be mad. To blame. To scream into the void.
And when you’re ready…
You’re allowed to come back inside.
To come home to the only place you’ve ever had control—your own breath. Your own tenderness. Your own presence.
Because even when the world doesn’t change…
You can still hold yourself differently.
You can soften the pressure.
You can speak to the part of you that says “I can’t do this”—and respond with,
“I know, baby. I know. And I’m here with you.”
That’s not giving up.
That’s choosing yourself.
That’s where your power begins again.
P.S. Need a moment after this? There’s a soft 60-second tapping reset waiting for you on Instagram: [@thetappingmama]