Why Your Baby's Sleep Schedule Isn't Working (And What It's Really About)
Why Your Baby's Sleep Schedule Isn't Working (And What It's Really About)
I used to build my entire day around nap time.
Not because I loved routines. Not because I thought it made me a better mom.
But because I was barely holding on.
If the nap got missed or pushed - I panicked. Because that meant bedtime might be later. And if bedtime was later, I didn’t get a break. I didn’t get space. And at the end of the day, what I was really desperate for... was to be left alone.
Some moms seem so calm when the schedule falls apart. They’re flexible. Chill. Even playful. And for a long time, I hated that it didn’t feel that way for me. I thought something was wrong with me - like I was wound too tight, or just not as patient or loving. But the truth is, it wasn’t about the schedule. It was about how much pressure I was carrying underneath.
It Was Never Just About the Baby
The rigidity, the control, the strict sleep windows - it was never just about the baby. It was about survival. It was about trying to manage the only thing I could control, while everything inside me felt like too much.
Because here’s what no one tells you: your baby’s schedule isn’t the key to calm.
Your regulation is.
And when you're dysregulated - anxious, exhausted, overstimulated, emotionally fried - clinging to a nap schedule feels like life support. You don’t want to be flexible, because you’ve already flexed all day long. You’ve bent and held and given and adjusted yourself to meet everyone’s needs. And by the end of the day, your body is screaming for relief.
So when bedtime gets pushed later - not because you’re out having fun, but because you're home, doing nothing, and the chaos won't end - that rage? That tension in your chest? That urge to snap or cry or walk out the door? It makes sense.
Because you weren’t just waiting for bedtime.
You were waiting for your turn to exhale.
It's Not Just Fatigue — It's Grief for Your Own Space
And when that turn gets delayed, it feels like betrayal. Like being robbed of the only moment you get to just be a human again. Of course that brings up anger. Of course you grip tighter next time. Of course you try to control every piece of the puzzle.
But here’s the thing: if you’re trying to control the sleep because you’re out of control inside - that’s not bad. That’s awareness. That’s the place where healing can begin.
When I discovered EFT tapping, it wasn’t some magical cure for bedtime chaos. But it gave me a way to soften. To discharge some of the fear, tension, and resentment I was carrying every day. It helped me feel safer in my own body - even when the routine fell apart.
And when my body feels safe, I don’t need the schedule to feel okay.
If bedtime left you tense, angry, or overwhelmed tonight - here’s a short tapping practice to help you come back to yourself.
You deserve that exhale too.
Tapping Reset: When Bedtime Pushes You Over the Edge
A soft, validating EFT practice for the mom who needed peace and got more chaos.
Use your favorite grounding points: top of the head, collarbones, under the ribs, under the arm. Breathe slowly as you tap through each one.
Top of Head:
It’s okay. This was a lot.
Collarbones:
I didn’t want to be angry. I just needed space.
Under Ribs:
My whole body was counting down to the moment I’d be alone.
Top of Head:
The rage. The tension. The guilt.
Collarbones:
All I wanted was peace. And instead I got more chaos.
Under Ribs:
Of course that hurt. Of course I felt overwhelmed.
Top of Head:
This isn’t about bedtime. This is about me needing care.
Collarbones:
Me needing space to breathe.
Under Ribs:
Me needing to not be needed anymore.
Top of Head:
I’m allowed to feel this. I’m allowed to come back to myself.
Collarbones:
Even if bedtime was late. Even if everything felt too much.
Under Ribs:
I can still offer myself love now.
Top of Head:
This is my exhale. I get to have one too.
Collarbones:
Let me pause here — and really feel where this lives in my body.
Under Ribs:
The weight of the day. The holding. The part of me that just wanted a break.
Top of Head:
I see that part of me. I hear her. I feel her now.
Collarbones:
And I offer her love for how hard it’s been.
Under Ribs:
I offer her compassion for everything she carried.
Top of Head:
I forgive myself for the tension I held.
Collarbones:
I accept that I’m doing the best I can.
Under Ribs:
I am learning to meet myself with softness, even here.
Top of Head:
This is what healing looks like — one breath, one choice, one tap at a time.
Collarbones:
I offer myself love for getting through the day.
Under Ribs:
I offer myself compassion for the moments that felt too hard.
Top of Head:
I forgive myself for the tension I held.
Collarbones:
I accept that I’m doing the best I can.
Under Ribs:
I am learning to meet myself with softness, even here.
Top of Head:
This is what healing looks like — one breath, one choice, one tap at a time.
The Honest Truth
EFT tapping has brought me more into the presence of being with those tiny little humans who love and need me - especially at the end of the day. It’s such a huge transition for them, moving from play to rest, from wakefulness to surrender. And I’ll be honest - I still get frustrated and annoyed when chaos breaks out, when someone spills something, or bedtime gets pushed again. Because some nights, I just want the day to be done.
But I keep coming back. Back to the moment. Back to myself. Back to them.
Because the truth is, they’re 3 and 5 now, and the days are long. So long. But also - what am I even racing toward after they go to bed? I don’t do anything important. I’m just not needed anymore. And that feels like relief.
So sometimes, I let myself cuddle them a little longer. I don’t get so mad when they ask for one more story, one more song, one more snuggle. And as long as they’re not running around like wild things, I can stay in the calm. I can choose presence.
That’s what tapping has made possible. Not perfect bedtime routines. But a deeper ability to stay with myself - and with them - even in the messiest moments.
A Note From Me to You
I don’t have all the answers. I’m still in this too.
And this is the most honest answer I can offer:
No - tapping won’t erase your need for space.
No blog will make you love being needed at 7:48 p.m.
But this work? It gives you more choice. More compassion. More recovery.
And that is everything.
If this resonated with you and you’re craving a calmer, more compassionate way to end the day, I created something for you:
✨ The Tapping Mama Reset — a 5-minute guided tapping practice to help you release the tension of bedtime and come back to yourself.
Click here for your free guide
You don’t need to do it perfectly. You just need a way back to you. And that’s what this reset is here for.