What No One Tells You About Postpartum Emotional Health
(aka why you might feel like you're losing your mind, and you're actually not)
Let me guess—someone told you about the diapers.
They warned you about the sleep deprivation.
They maybe even mentioned “baby blues” like it was a passing cloud.
But no one told you that you might want to scream.
That you’d fantasize about running away.
That the sound of your baby crying could make your skin feel like it’s on fire.
That you'd grieve your old self so deeply you’d barely recognize yourself in the mirror.
No one told you that you could love your baby with your whole soul...
and still feel resentful, trapped, touched out, lonely, enraged, numb.
The unspoken part of postpartum: the emotional storm
Postpartum isn’t just about feeding schedules and leaky boobs. It’s a total rewiring of your nervous system.
It’s your brain, body, hormones, and identity all trying to reorganize in real time—while you’re also trying to keep a tiny human alive.
And most of us were never taught how to move through big emotions.
Especially not while holding a crying baby. Especially not when everyone expects you to be "grateful" and "so in love."
So if you’ve ever thought:
Why am I so angry all the time?
Why do I want everyone to leave me alone, even the people I love?
Why do I feel numb when I should feel joy?
Why does this all feel so damn hard?
You're not broken. You’re dysregulated.
What’s actually happening in your brain (and body)
Here’s what no one tells you: your brain is changing—on purpose.
During pregnancy and postpartum, your brain goes through a major neurological shift. Some areas actually shrink (temporarily!) to help you focus more on your baby’s needs. Other areas, especially those tied to empathy, alertness, and emotional processing, light up and stay on high. You’re literally being wired to care deeply—but it comes at a cost.
Meanwhile, your hormones crash after birth, sleep deprivation scrambles your ability to regulate emotions, and your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger because your baby depends on you to keep them alive.
It’s not just emotional. It’s biological.
That wired-but-exhausted feeling? The rage? The tears that come out of nowhere? That numb, floating disconnection?
It’s your brain and body in overdrive, trying to adjust to this new reality.
You’re not “crazy.”
You’re adapting.
You’re transforming.
What does that even mean?
Your nervous system is your body’s built-in alarm and safety system. It constantly scans your environment to decide if you’re in danger or at ease.
And postpartum? That system is stuck on HIGH ALERT.
You’re running on no sleep. Your hormones are crashing. Your body is recovering. Your brain is rewiring.
And you’re carrying the invisible emotional weight of keeping your baby alive and safe—24/7.
So that panic? The anger? The overstimulation that makes you want to scream or disappear?
It’s not a personality flaw. It’s your body begging for relief.
2 actually doable ways to self-regulate (when you feel like you’re losing your damn mind)
You don’t need a retreat.
You don’t need 3 hours alone.
You need something to hold you when your body is on fire and the baby won’t stop crying and your brain is telling you to run or snap or vanish.
Here are two nervous system tools that can meet you in that moment. Not later. Now.
1. Tapping – Feel it to free it
Even just 60 seconds of tapping can help.
Use the top of your head, your collarbones, and on your ribs—and say (or think):
“I’m about to snap. This is too much. But I’m here. I’m breathing. I’m allowed to feel this.”
You don’t have to be calm to start.
You can tap while sobbing. While clenching your jaw. While rage pulses through you.
It’s not about fixing. It’s about meeting the moment with presence instead of panic.
2. Breath – Come back to yourself
Let’s be honest.
Sometimes “take a breath” isn’t gentle. It’s desperate.
Like go outside and shut the door behind you before you completely lose it kind of breath.
I remember stepping into the backyard with my hands shaking and chest tight, needing SILENCE.
I wasn’t trying to meditate. I wasn’t trying to be a better mom.
I was trying not to scream. Trying not to collapse. Just trying to survive the next five minutes.
That is regulation.
That is healing.
Try this if you’re there:
Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 8.
Even one round. Even messy.
Say to yourself:
“I don’t have to be supermom right now. I get to be a soft mess in progress.”
Feel it in your body
Once you’ve caught your breath (even slightly), ask:
Where do I feel this in my body?
Rage in the chest?
Grief in the throat?
Static buzzing under your skin?
Put a hand there. Breathe there.
And whisper something kind. Even just, “I’m still here.”
You're not climbing out of it. You're climbing into it—with love, acceptance and compassion.
That’s what makes it bearable.
Final word
You’re not too sensitive. You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re navigating a massive transformation with little sleep, no map, and barely any support.
You don’t need to fix yourself. You need space, tools, and compassion.
You’re not alone in this.
And if today all you did was make it through without shattering, that’s enough.